Me, You and Winnie the Pooh
by GleekFreak75
Summary: Just a cute/kinda crazy and twisted Klaine one-shot that involves a look into the strange sex lives of Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson, starring-the magic of Disney? Not as creepy as it sounds, I swear, it's more cute than anything, give it a try!


**Hey everyone! Wow it's been so long since I posted something on here! So this has been sitting unfinished on my laptop since April, so I decided to finally finish it! It's my first attempt at Klaine, so I apologize if it's terrible, but I hope it isn't! This is just a cute, fluffy, silly and slightly smutty drabble-y one shot based on Blaine and his obsession, (or at least the obsession I believe he has) with all things Disney. Now I know smut and Disney in the same sentence sounds weird, but trust me it'll make more sense once you read it, and hopefully it'll be really funny too! As for where I came up with the idea for this story, I honestly have no clue, it kind of just popped into my head, so I apologize if the idea's weird, but that's just my twisted, twisted brain speaking! Hope you enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or Disney unfortunately, because if I owned Disney, there would be no Miley Cyrus or shitty TV shows and movies, instead it would be Little Mermaid and Lion King all the time ****.**

**Me, You and Winnie the Pooh: Or how Blaine Anderson Single-Handedly Ruined Disney Movies for me.**

One stormy and just plain shitty-weather day in mid-October, Kurt and Blaine were bored and decided the best, (and pretty much only thing to do, since they couldn't decide on a movie to watch), would be to go to the mall, (Kurt's idea, of course). So, when Kurt finally convinced Blaine it would be a good idea, they headed there and it started out as any normal trip to the mall with one Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson would. They would browse multiple clothing stores, with Blaine reluctantly trying on any and everything Kurt threw his way, (most of which consisted of too-tight jeans, bright pink tops, and those weird bondage clothing items Kurt always wears), then Blaine would explain to Kurt that no he did not want any of this since it was not his style. But then Kurt would beg and mention that he has bright pink sunglasses, so what harm can a bright pink shirt do? And then they would get into a big argument over the fact that Blaine dresses like a blind nerd from the 80's, and why can't Kurt buy him something sophisticated for once? But eventually the taller boy would give up and Blaine would cheer, smile and jump up and down, while Kurt sent him off to get more suspenders. They would then meet up about a half an hour later, (or however long it took Kurt to decide between the feathered hat or the top hat), to go to the food court and grab food. Today however, was different, because while they were walking to the food court, Blaine saw something out of the corner of his eye.

"Oh my god! They have a Disney Store here! Kurt why was I not aware of this fact! Why did you never tell me!" Blaine exclaimed, suddenly turning into an over-excited eight year old, and playfully slapping Kurt on the arm.

"Really Blaine? The Disney Store!" Kurt sighed, rolling his eyes at his boyfriend who looked so excited that he just couldn't help but smile just a bit.

"Yes Kurt! Don't tell me you hate Disney! It's totally awesome—well at least old Disney is, not the crap that's out today—oh my god Kurt can we please go in?" Blaine was now grinning widely and bouncing on his feet, and Kurt just had to say yes, because he looked absolutely adorable right at that moment.

"Sure, let's go, I wouldn't mind flashing back to the days of Disney Princes", Kurt smiled while Blaine grabbed his hand and practically dragged Kurt in. They weren't in the store for more than two minutes, (and they were over at the Little Mermaid memorabilia, since Kurt just had to have Ariel's tiara for his collection) when all of a sudden Kurt heard a loud squeal come from right beside him, and his boyfriend was missing. He looked around frantically, when he finally found Blaine practically lying on top of a massive Winnie the Pooh, with a giant smile on his face.

"Oh my god Kurt look! I want it!" He yelled, while Kurt walked slowly over to him, (he really didn't want anyone to know he was with Blaine right now).

"Blaine, how old are you exactly! And 75 dollars! Really Blaine!" Kurt exclaimed while looking at the price tag with wide eyes.

"I don't care how much he is, I need it! I've been wanting a Pooh bear forever and he'll be so much fun to cuddle with!" He exclaimed, and Kurt suddenly felt a slight twinge of jealousy, since Blaine pretty much just said he'd rather cuddle with a giant stuffed animal than him, but he shrugged it off. The truth was he rarely ever got to see this side of Blaine; the 6-year old in a 17-year-old's body, who was excited about everything life had to offer. It was a nice break from the protective shield he built up known as Dapper Blaine, and although he liked that side to, he liked seeing Blaine being his adorable self. So considering all of this, Kurt let out a heavy sigh and continued on.

"Then you should have it, but remember _I _get top cuddle priorities, and not Winnie". Blaine grinned at this; "But both of you are such good cuddle buddies, why can't I have you both?" He suddenly frowned and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"I refuse to share with a cartoon bear, Blaine Anderson", Kurt said with finality, and Blaine just huffed, refusing to give up the fight. Soon after this, the two teens headed up to the cash with Blaine smiling his million-watt smile, then headed out, grabbed two coffees to go, and headed to Blaine's house.

They arrived at Blaine's house not too long after, and Kurt quickly called his dad to let him know he was there and was safe. He was shocked beyond belief when his father gave him permission to stay at his boyfriend's house when he knew full well they would be alone, but then again it was Blaine, and Burt trusted him and his son with his life. They then made their way up to Blaine's room, and Kurt smirked at it like he always did when he walked into his boyfriend's room. Every wall was covered with either a Harry Potter poster or a poster of some Disney character, and there was lots of Harry Potter memorabilia, which really didn't surprise him because he knew Blaine was completely obsessed with it. However what really surprised him was the abundance of Disney memorabilia, particularly the Little Mermaid bedspread that lay upon Blaine's bed.

"What the hell is that!" Was the first thing that entered Kurt's brain, as well as the first thing that (accidentally) left his mouth as well.

"Why it's Ariel of course! Come on you love her!" The curly-haired teen said in defense.

"Yeah but I don't sleep with her every night! Geez, even _I'm _not that gay!" Kurt exclaimed, still glaring at the bedspread.

"Oh come on Kurt, she's awesome! Please come lay with me!" Blaine pleaded while using his patented puppy dog look that he knew always got Kurt—and this time was apparently no different.

"Ugh, fine! But we mention this to no one, got it?"

"Yup, I completely understand! Now let's cuddle!" As soon as Blaine said this, Kurt couldn't help but smile at his a-fucking-dorable boyfriend—that is until he reached over to his side of the bed and pulled Winnie the Pooh up from the ground, (who even knew he was there?)

"Blaine, I told you I'm not cuddling with that!" Kurt exclaimed.

"Oh come on! He wants to join the party though, you know have a threesome!"

"Blaine please do not tell me you have some sort of weird stuffed animal fetish, and want me to try it myself, because I'm sorry but I am not game!" Blaine just laughed at his angry boyfriend, while standing up and moving closer to Kurt.

"Please just come cuddle with us? Pooh's very lonely and he needs a friend", Blaine explained to his boyfriend while pulling the puppy dog eyes yet again on a very irritated Kurt who just rolled his eyes.

"Oh please, those do not work as good as you think they do". Apparently Blaine didn't listen to this though, since he just continued the look, and he noticed Kurt's resolve slowly slipping away.

"Okay fine, but you can hug Pooh, I would much rather cuddle you!" Kurt smiled and Blaine squealed and yelled yay, while jumping on the bed and pulling Kurt and Pooh along with him. Once the boys got comfortable and were lying face to face, Blaine pulled Pooh out and put him between him and Kurt.

"Blaine, no! What did I say about that? Wouldn't you rather cuddle with me than that thing?" Blaine pouted, but then came up with an idea.

"Fine, I'll put Pooh away for now if you'll make it up to me". Blaine smiled coyly, and Kurt looked a mixture of scared and intrigued.

"And how would I do that?" Kurt said in barely a whisper, but before he had a lot of time to think, Blaine grabbed Kurt by the hips and pulled him in for a long and passionate kiss. Kurt pulled away long enough to whisper to Blaine, "I think I can do that", and then they were back into each others mouths, their tongues duelling and mapping out each other's mouths.

"I feel really weird and kind of perverted for doing this on top of Ariel, don't you?" Kurt whispered, as Blaine's mouth moved to Kurt's neck.

"Kind of, but I just try not to think about it", Blaine replied, and continued his exploration of Kurt.

As their makeout session grew more and more intense, Blaine was finding his tight, tight skinny jeans too hard to wear anymore, and Kurt must have noticed this too, since he reached down and popped the younger boy's jeans open with an expert hand. As Kurt was inching them down his legs, he noticed a cowboy hat being slowly revealed, then a familiar face, and at last the words "Toy Story" written across the left leg.

"Really Blaine! You knew I was staying over and that 'stuff' would most likely be happening and you wore _those!_" Kurt exclaimed, while willing his erection to stay up.

"Yeehaw?" Was all Blaine could say in reply, and Kurt burst out laughing.

"Oh my god Blaine, you're such a child, such an adorable but slightly ridiculous child, and I am so surprised this hasn't killed the mood yet!"

"Hmm well maybe you like Woody? I know I always had a thing for Buzz", Blaine replied, while Kurt straddled him.

"Buzz! Really Blaine! Woody's more of a hero, while Buzz is more of just a sidekick, and plus he's a cowboy, and I've always thought they were kind of sexy". He was now whispering this into Blaine's ear, which was strangely enough, turning Blaine on even more.

"Really Kurt? I never would have pegged you for the cowboy-fetish type, but I can definitely roll with that. Wanna re-create the scene in the tent from Brokeback?"

"I would definitely love that, as long as you do not quote _any _Woody lines from Toy Story while I have your dick in my mouth".

"Well I can't make any promises love, but I'll try". And with that Kurt descended to Blaine's cock.

"There's a snake in my boot!" Blaine exclaimed while Kurt had the head in his mouth, and he promptly took it out, glaring at Blaine.

"If you want this to continue, I shall make you watch Finn and the boys play COD for three hours straight!" And with that, Blaine was silent for the rest of time, aside for the breathy moans and gasps that were elicited until he came hard into Kurt's throat. Blaine returned the favour, and soon the two boys were lying on top of Ariel, facing each other and holding each other close.

"I don't think I'll be able to watch the Little Mermaid or Toy Story ever again—I feel like a pervert!" Kurt exclaimed, while Blaine just laughed along with Kurt. Whenever they fooled around, it was never like this—it was never easy going, it was always Kurt still being nervous and worried that he would do something wrong, since they were still new at all of this. But this time was completely different; this time they were worry-free, and just Blaine and Kurt, and maybe it was the magic of Disney, or maybe this was what true love really felt like.

They lay like that for much longer than was needed, but neither of them had the heart or the power to move. When they did however, it was Kurt who got up first to go to the bathroom and clean up, (since Blaine was still nervous about swallowing).

"Blaine, where are the towels?"

"Underneath the sink, to the left". As Kurt opened up the cupboard, he only saw one towel and it was a large green one, and it wasn't until he opened it that he noticed what it was.

"Uh, Blaine? Are you sure you didn't get a sex change when you were a baby? Because I'm almost a 100% sure this is a girl's towel!" He stared wide-eyed at the towel while Blaine just laughed loudly.

"But Kurtie it's Tinkerbell! How can you not love her magical powers! I'm pretty sure anyone can appreciate that!" Kurt just rolled his eyes.

"First of all, call me Kurtie again and you won't be getting blowjobs for a month, and second of all, I can't in good conscience wipe my dick on an innocent Disney character!" Yup, Kurt's wit never died.

"And this is coming from the boy who got turned on by Woody and fooled around on Little Mermaid sheets!" Of course what followed was silence, until Kurt finally huffed, signalling that he gave up.

"Tink, I'm really sorry for what I'm about to do, so if you want to blame anyone, blame the six year-old I call my boyfriend", Kurt whispered to the towel, while Blaine snickered, obviously overhearing the exchange. Kurt cringed while cleaning himself and closed his eyes tightly, not wanting to watch his Disney memories forever being ruined. He finally crumpled up the towel and threw it in the hamper, while going back into Blaine's room and falling back into the bed.

"I'm sorry for ruining Disney for you baby", Blaine whispered while cuddling up to Kurt from behind. "Maybe Pooh will cheer you up!" And with that, the oversized stuffed bear was brought from it's hiding place and Kurt gasped overdramtically.

"And exactly how long have you been waiting to bring that back out!" He exclaimed, while turning towards Blaine, who pouted.

"You don't love Pooh?" And there was the much-hated puppy face again. But Kurt decided that for once he would let Blaine win, if it meant a happy Blaine and cuddle times—ah, the things you do for love.

"Fine, but you hug Pooh and I get to be the big spoon, that's my final offer".

"Yay big spoon!" Blaine squealed with delight and cheered. They quickly got comfortable and stopped their laughing, since they were very tired from all the activities *cough cough* of today.

"Night Kurt".

"Night Blaine".

"Goodnight Winnie!" Blaine exclaimed, then silence.

"Kurt, say goodnight to Winnie!" Blaine mock-yelled at Kurt.

"ugh, goodnight Winnie", Kurt murmured.

"I have the best boyfriends ever!"

"Idiot".

THE END.

REVIEW!


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